just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
