Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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