Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
