Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he's gonorrhea incarnate
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
