I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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