Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
