the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My penis needs a shock collar
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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