Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm bleeding and have questions
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
