those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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