I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
