so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
