There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
