All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
where am i from again
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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