Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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