I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
