So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
