consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My breasts were aching with rage.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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