Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
