I wish I could teleport
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
