I am in a vortex of obligation.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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