the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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