Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
