I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
