normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
