How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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