he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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