id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize