don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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