How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
