Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
