He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
