I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You dont lie about slip and slides
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Randomize
