Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
