you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
