She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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