Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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