are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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