i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
