I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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