I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize