Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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