Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
