With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
