batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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