dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
