I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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