MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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