Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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