ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
