We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
