Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
