apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
