So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
